I've been so deep down in my own muddled head that it was only last week I realised a sea change has been working through me.
I was in Iceland, no I'm not being pretentious; but Iceland has lots of big sky and 360 degree panoramas that even the most slug-like mind has to expand to cope.
I noticed while gawping that I was happy; free of stress, free of pain.I was on the outside of me among the glaciers and the lava fields and it felt damn good.
Quite possibly the latest incarnation of me crawled out of those ashes and flapped it's stubby wings.
Of course being in Iceland just brought things to a head; a lot of 'stuff' has brought me to this point. The list is long: but I think the most important steps have been the presence of Razzle in my life, Kate's illness and recovery which have altered our relationship from mother/daughter to best friends. Oddly too my estrangement from Aileen has taught me not to dwell on things I can't change. All of which and more has made me decide that I'm no longer passing through life as Tony's Relict but as Norma mark 3.
Nobody reads this blog, so note to self: hold on to this good feeling and keep testing the wings.