Post NaNo Blues

I finished NaNo again. Small hoorah for me.



Now I'm in a slump. The days are far too long, the weather is too damn cold and I have the miseries.



I'm s'posed to be researching for the 2nd draft, due to commence in the New Year, date as yet undecided, but I started reading 'Wolf Hall' and I'm back in thrall to Hilary Mantel's writing.

I read 'A Place of Greater Safety' a loooong time ago and she brought that time and place to life in the most complete way. I'd never read any novels on the French Revolution before apart from 'A Tale of Two Cities' as a teenager and after reading her book I've not felt the need.

For some reason I can't fathom I haven't been able to get on with her non-historical novels; I've tried twice to read 'Beyond Black' and given up in despair.



I ignored 'Wolf Hall' when it first came out because I wasn't reading fiction at all at that point, but when the brouhaha started about 'Bring Up the Bodies' I decided to get both books. I started reading 'Wolf Hall' the night before last and was hooked in the first 3 pages. Oh Dear Lord! I wish I could write like that.



So Ms Mantel is also to blame for my glooms because her brilliance makes my efforts seem so feeble that I could cry. Howmsoever I shan't give up on '3 Sisters'; there is room for trash as well as genius in books.



Speaking of trash I was dismayed when I read Ian Rankin's 'Knots and Crosses', his first Rebus book, it's crap, utter crap. I couldn't believe how contrived the plot is and how poorly it's written. I read it because he was interviewed for the BBC's 'Imagine' series and in that programme I was thrilled to hear that he writes in a similar way to my method.

My initial thoughts were 'Oh Goody! A successful novelist who makes it up as he goes along without knowing what the ending will be, just like me.' But if 'Knots and Crosses' is typical of his output I have no desire to emulate him, successful or not.




Memo to self: must read at least one more of his books to be fair.

Preperations for NNWM are lurching along quite nicely. I realised yesterday that i haven't yet given names to a lot of my characters, ooops. In justification I find choosing a character's name quite tricky. I like to give them names that feel suitable to their personalities which don't really ripen until I've dropped them into situations and watched how they cope. That's not realistic I know, but I'm not dealing in realism. Anywayz, I'm starting character sketches now that I have the overall story in place. After that I'll do chapter outlines. In previous NNWMs I've only outlined a chapter about 5 minutes before I started writing it and that's led to rather uneven chunks. I'm hoping that outlining chapters will give the overall structure a tighter feel and stop me writing myself into corners too. Only a month to go so I'd better get on with it.

Prepping for NaNoWriMo ......AGAIN

After an indecently prolonged absence I'm doing NaNoWriMo for what is , I think, the fifth time. The 1st time I started just as Tony was diagnosed with his cancer, so the experience lasted 3 days. I did it again the next year. I found it helpful to lose myself writing for a solid month and I finished the 1st and so far only draft of my Roman army novel.It's been too painful to go re-visit that piece dealing as it does with an un-hinged female lead. I had another go a couple of years later but petered out somewhere along the way coz my head was out in space somewhere.I can't remember much about it, it was an Ozzie coming of age thing if but I can't remember any of the details. Completed NaNo one more time with a rather forgettable draft of 'Sea of Gods'. I don't know how many times I've tinkered with that mss, but it's main problem is an ending. It's all very well to have a story where the world you've constructed is destroyed at the finish but it doesn't read well . I think it was just more cathartic writing but longer. Anyway I'm preparing a piece that stalks familiar territory coz I'm back in the Bronze Age again. This one is a post-apocalyptic story set largely in 18th dynasty Egypt but with forays to Mycenae and Crete(of course). The outline is in a rough stage,I'm determined to have an real ending and that is the point of dong the outline in plenty of time. I will have a personal ending for my characters before I start . I will, really I will. Anyway the research is more focused and I'm itching to actually write something. I hope I still feel that way come the 1st of November. I just want to write again. I think I enjoy the total immersion of NaNo and maybe this time I'll produce somrething that's worth revising and attempting to publish. I think I can call myself a writer now having several hundred thousand words lurking on my hard drive even though a lot of it is disjointed fragments. I know I'll get that first 50,000 words done, but then I'll need real discipline to crack on. When I look at some of the drivel that's in print I can't understand why I'm so scared of putting myself out there. Time to man up and behave like a proper writer.

Feeling pleased..... Every now and then I dabble in family history. Not having any living parents etc it's hard to trace stuff..... But every time I make a real effort something emerges, due to serendipity as much as anything else. My new discovery is a growing number of relatives who lived in Kentish Town, Camden. I'm thrilled to have found addresses although the houses themselves and sometimes the streets have long gone. I feel a sense of place and belonging; I must make a trip up to the big city and walk those streets.

Just another quickie to keep my hand in. Busy busy busy investigating sewing machines at present, my latest craze. I'm starting to get that guilty feeling again, that used to come to me when I wanted to write but didn't. I'm taking that as a positive sign.... In the 'real' world I'm hustling about to stave off anxiety and lurking grief 'cos the anniversary is looming. I can't seem to do creative/spiritual/worthwhile stuff at the same time as I do busybee routine, but at least I'm not slumped on the sofa with the OFF switch engaged.

A little like Lazarus

I had actually forgotten all about this blog until i decided to follow another blog and mine popped up...... maybe there is life after death. It's been a long time since I blogged here and a long time since I've done any writing at all. I'm starting again, and again. I have a lot of new beginnings but my stickability ain't the greatest. So maybe I'll be around for a while, maybe not.I'm in a better place now and feeling positive a lot of the time so fingers crossed. I'm used to living alone now.....after seven years of it. I'm trying to accept the encroachments of old age, but failing. I'll have to think about how I want to use this blog now. I'll be back.