Health stuff and Writer's block

It's been a less than marvellous couple of weeks. My hay-fever decided to go quiet, but only to make room for my Asthma. It's been nasty. I have felt really low physically and that tends to bring me down in everything, so that I'm reduced to sitting on the sofa in a stupor and coughing or I sleep LOTS.

Improvements have taken place in the last two days so I'm back and I've written another bit of flash fiction that you can find on t'other blog.

Weather has played a large part in all this and is set to change again soon, so I have no idea how long I'll be functioning.
TaTa

Have trust in yourself.

Struggling with self-confidence at the moment. I suppose this is partly due to a put down I received via email this week, it wasn't actually important but it angered me and then it made me anxious.

I put on a good show of being knowledgeable, well in control of any situation and at ease with anyone I meet. I believe in most of that shit most of the time too, but sometimes as with that email I take a knock and suddenly I'm questioning my right to existence.

A couple of times this week I've had that old familiar horror stir inside me. I think of it as a black pit that opens right at my feet, if I make a false step I'll plunge into it and worse still I don't know if there's a right step to take.

I can now fight it off. I do some menial bit of house-work, or dig the garden, or go and visit somebody who needs cheering up more than I do. If I don't I suspect that I'd sink into Depression again,

'They' say you're always prone to relapses if the Black Dog has bitten you in the past; a cheery thought which scares me, thanks Guys.

When I was depressed with a capital 'D' I used to blog on a website for people with mental issues, I always felt a bit of a fraud because many of them had really severe problems, but it helped me to write my worst thoughts down on that blog when there was nobody I dared speak them to.

Anyway I'm not ill now just lingering in the Self-Pity zone a bit.

Help comes from the Universe in odd ways. I found this yesterday on Facebook:

"Have good trust in yourself… not in the one that you think you should be, but in the One that you are.”

~ Taizan Maezumi Roshi ~

and I always find Love from Rumi:

" Tomorrow you'll be brave, you say? Fool! Dive today from the cliff of what you know into what you can't know.
You fear the rocks? Better men than you have died on them; dying on Love's rocks is nobler than a life of death."

Rio 50 Degrees: Carry on CaRIOca

I just watched this documentary by Julien Temple and found it wonderful.


It was a stream of consciousness montage of images, music and art that told much of the history of Rio de Janeiro. I knew nothing of Rio and began to watch it wondering if I could sit through the run-time of 102 minutes.
It wasn't hard at all; the colours, the sounds, the violence and the beauty of the city had me transfixed. I'd recommend it to anyone curious about a place most of us have heard of and know nothing about.
I can't decide if the ending was optimistic or not, there's so much spilled blood on those streets, but the people of the favelas look as if they could transform their lives if they're given half a chance.

New Story

Not posted for a bit. Sometimes I just slump, but I'm awake again.
There's a new story on 'Whatever Comes'.
I wrote this straight off this morning. I don't know if that makes it better or worse than others that take longer. You'll need to judge for yourselves.