Keeping my chin up despite Autumn blues.
This is my least favourite time of year, even when the sun shines. There are too many stale bread days, days when everything is past it's best, curling up at the edges and growing mould. The next event on the horizon is Christmas. I've disliked Christmas ever since my mother died, she died one December and my father and I went away for Christmas, it was terrible. We were miles from home, I was 10 years old, shy and missing my mum. I remember my father drinking too much and being grumpy. I hadn't known real loneliness before but I became well-acquainted with it over that holiday.
I don't feel lonely in the same way now but I think about all the people in horrible situations during the 'festive' season so I'm glad when January arrives no matter what the weather.
I've bought most of my Christmas presents. I do enjoy finding things that I think will really please someone, but I would be much happier if my family would agree to a no-gifts Christmas. I suggest it every year, but somebody always has a reason why we have to do it one more time.
I give money to charity whenever I remember how well-off I am in comparison to most of the world's population. I know it's only a drop into the oceans of inequality, but it may help just one person get a chance at a decent life. I get all hot under the collar as the money wasted on tinsel and gift wrap increases and I feel more and more like a hamster on the treadmill.
Then there's the over-eating. So far the only luxury I've bought myself is a small bottle of balsamic vinegar with added fig juice. I shall not buy mince pies or Christmas pudding this year, because they taste terrible and end up in the bin. I'll try not to stuff myself at all. I just have to stop shopping. I could live on the tins in my cupboard for a month anyway!
Never mind....only 42 days until 2015