Monday, September 08, 2008

I'm back and this time I think I'll be staying

Well it's a long time since I posted, but I think I'm going to stick around this time. I've realised it's time to change. I'm used to change and I miss it, there's no fizz any more.

Since I doubt that life is going to throw anything new my way aside from bad news, bad health and slow decline into terminal Bleah I must create some interest to divert my attention. So I am going to start writing properly; in other words I shall be professional about it. I shall set myself targets and write every day; I've done that before so that's not a problem.
This time however I'm going to submit stuff to publishers.I always shied away from that before because I didn't want rejection, but now I realise that there'll be tension and excited anticipation while waiting for those letters telling me 'No Thanks'. I shan't mind the failures because I'll be able to tell myself that there's always another publisher so there'll always be fizz in that, plus the enormous buzz from actually finishing stuff.
I'm getting excited just thinking about it!

It's odd the way my mind makes decisions. I've been in an old pattern recently but failed to realise it. I've been slothful and sad, but little things kept popping into my mind. I was remembering snippets from stories I'd written and I've been having vivid dreams with intricate story-lines. That pattern of depression and day/night dreams has always preceded any major decision I've made but I'd forgotten because it's been a long time since I took any action.

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