Saturday, August 30, 2014

Paddling furiously

I look nothing like a swan either literally or metaphorically, but I feel akin to one in the amount of effort it takes me to stay on top of Life.

I become aware that things need 'Doing' i.e. they require some active involvement on my part, this is often triggered by the realisation that I need to prod somebody who promised to do something for me and hasn't, but I'm always reluctant to do that;  so I think of all the things that I promised to do and haven't completed or possibly started. There generally aren't too many items on this list, so once they're ticked off I look for other things to tackle............

Now there is the issue. I look for things to keep my hands busy because my mind is empty.It's full of trivia and fretting but empty of ideas. I cannot write or so I tell myself so I must be useful instead. I must do important things in the way of living comfortably. It's all crap because I'm only thinking of cupboard tidying or weeding the garden or  cleaning the shower all of which I can happily ignore for a month of Sundays.

All this busy-ness is a smoke screen for the real problem that's dogged me this Summer.
I have not been writing much or indeed anything, hence I've been scurrying about for weeks, stacking up lesser tasks and working through them so that I cannot be held culpable for the failure to write!

So I've said it now. I've confessed. I need to write to regain some self respect and to get away from the bloody housework. I shall proceed to the labour of  artistic creation forthwith !!!

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