I think I'm going through a phase.
I seem to have too much essential stuff to do, I want to be doing other stuff but can't seem to manage it and as a result I've spent a couple of weeks chasing my tail.
I need to organise myself more efficiently, but that in itself seems hard to do, just the effort required to think up a system of time management seems to be beyond me.
For years I've followed the Peg Bracken school of housekeeping; her philosophy was "If you have loads to do and you don't think you can finish everything by doing one thing at a time, you should make a start on each thing at the same time".
Her argument lies in you being compelled to finish all your tasks if for example: you've already sifted the flour into a bowl to make a cake AND you've got the vacuum cleaner in the middle of the floor AND you've already threaded up the sewing machine and put the material ready beside it. That system has stood me in good stead ever since a friend bought me her 'I Hate to House-keep' and 'I Hate to Cook' books as a wedding present nearly 50 years ago.
Now it fails me. I find I either just step around the unfinished tasks and stop seeing them or I cancel the whole day and go out because I don't give a damn.
So here I am surrounded by incomplete tasks that are driving me up the wall and I can't go out to escape because the weather is awful. Instead of knuckling down I start doing something irrelevant and unnecessary like on-line shopping.
In the past when everything has gotten on top of me I've usually ended up throwing heaps of stuff away, getting a new job or moving house. Most of those options are no longer available and it's only about 4 months since I had my last clear-out. Oh and 'clearing out' makes me uncomfortable because it creates empty space that I feel the need to fill as soon as possible with more stuff. I made the interesting discovery yesterday that I'd thrown away the power transformer for the volume control on my ultra basic hi-fi. It's just cost me £20 to replace it.
My hi-fi system is a joke; I have a cd player which ought to be part of a proper big set up; after buying it I discovered that I couldn't control the volume of the music without buying a separate little box with a volume control knob on it. How daft is that?????. Anyway I got one and instead of buying speakers, with all the fuss about which type and whether they should be wall-mounted or floor standing, I bought headphones that plug into the box and which I can also use with the tv and the pc. My late Beloved must be constantly amused by my ignorance of music playback technology after his efforts to educate me over long years.
Yesterday I started going through the collection looking for one particular cd. It took me nearly an hour to find it due to the sudden realisation about the power supply transformer; I've been playing music via my pc for several months and had unplugged everything else when I last re-arranged the furniture and threw out 'junk'.
So I hope I'm going through a phase rather than losing the remaining shreds of my intelligence; perhaps this is a transitional period and I may metamorphose into a new bright and shiny creature. One should never lose hope!